Beware - very wordy and very rant-y post ahead....
Question of the day:
Who do you go to if you are feeling very frustrated with your pay/ job/ rank/ etc at work?
1) Direct Boss?:
Tried that. Didn't work.
Anyway, apparently "there is nothing he can do because his hands are tied by the HR people".
He hasn't even returned my half year assessment because he's just too busy/ wants to discuss with my other boss first but couldn't manage to catch him/ etc etc etc.
I believed him the first time he told me that. And I still belived him (to a certain extent) when he repeated pretty much the same thing for the second and third time... but after waiting for more than 2 months, I think I am only human if I have begun to doubt the sincerity and truth in his words.
2) Indirect Boss?:
He's also very busy.
Although he seems to care a wee bit more... because he actually asked me where my long overdue half year assessment is (but of course, he wouldn't go and rush Mr Direct Boss for it because that would be inappropriate).
3) HR People?:
I know how much they care.
I refuse to talk to them anymore - I only get depressed when I hear any of their propaganda.
On one hand they say: "Oh,.. we are moving towards a network organisation. No more hierachy so you will find you don't get promoted much. Instead, you will have wonderful job diversification across many different functions, which will enrich your life and add value to yourself."
BUT on the other hand, they say: "We will only ever pay you however much your job function is worth in the market... Not happy? There's the door."
What does that mean?
More or less: You will be moving sideways in the organisation a lot because that's how we're structuring it now so you will learn lots but your pay will never increase much because you will not be promoted much (or at all). If you don't like it then you can leave. Bye bye.
I feel so lost.
Is it my fault because I am too much of a pushover? Maybe I just don't know how to negotiate properly to get what I'm worth.
Or maybe I am just so bad at my job that this is the way my bosses are trying to tell me to leave? (Even though they have only said good things to me when they make comments about my work).
Do I stop trying to work hard/ improve and just clock in my 9 to 5 everyday, clock out and don't care?
Do I go look for a new job?
Is it that maybe I'm just too impatient? Maybe my bosses are just waiting for me to learn more before I get a promotion/ pay adjustment?
Do I stay patient and trust that my bosses have some sort of a career path planned for me?
Do I just smile and keep telling myself "Oh, I love my job so much that I don't care if I earn pretty much the same amount forever and cannot afford to buy a nice house for myself even if I work hard/ long hours... It's ok! Trying to secure a comfortable retirement plan is like, SO overrated anyway."
Always no answers.
Only more and more questions in my head.
Stressed out and feeling like crap,
TAGS: Blog, Weblog, Malaysia, KL, Kuala Lumpur, Personal
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