Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Trouble Child

"It's our fault you turned out this way, we've spoilt you rotten."

"You only ever want your way. Why can't you be less difficult?"

"You are always like THAT..."

"What? You want me to apologise to you, is it?!?"

I think I'm getting too old for teen angst but somehow, hearing these words over and over again from my parents still seem to get under my skin.

I wonder sometimes whether I am really such a bad daughter.

It was supposed to be a rare and special occasion.
I had promised to cook dinner for my parents, spaghetti bolognese which my mum likes, and I had been looking forward to it for over a week.
(I don't get to cook very much considering my working hours)

I left the office super early (before 6pm - the first time in all my years of working) and raced back in my car, humming happily to myself.... only to find that my mother had already finished cooking when I got home.

Shocked and dismayed, I asked her (I admit, with a little bit of a tone): "What's happening? I thought I was supposed to cook tonight?"

... and that started World War 1001.

Anyway, I'm being difficult again, aren't I?

Ok, so here goes:
I'm sorry you raised me to have my own opinion... but only when it's not one that differs with yours. Obviously I didn't learn that lesson very well.

I'm sorry that I do get very irritated by your holier than thou, stone age Asian belief of "The Parent can never be wrong so be quiet, listen, nod and smile, you little ungrateful child".

I'm sorry that I looked forward to cooking for you. I won't do it next time.

I'm sorry I don't always smile all the time.

I'm sorry I have turned out to be such a failure.

I'm sorry I'm ME.


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17 comments:

Wuching said...

aiyo..time to move out liao!

Speed said...

No... move out is not the way to solve problem...

goldenaurum said...

=(

I think it's more a misunderstanding. The way I see it, the both of you think the same... wanting to cook for the family as a sign to show your love and dismayed when it is not appreciated.

Mary

Anak Merdeka said...

Makes my hair stands up thinking that I am probably getting a glimpse of the future when my very own girl grows up. Must do some reality check myself now.

cely said...

there was once, i said i cook spagetti..and i did.. i already told everyone in the family i will cook that lunch..

turn out.. onli me eat..
I cried secretly for no one appreciate.

But come to think again, i always not home when my mom say she already cook..

She must be damn disappointing also that moment...

i was angry for no one eating what i cook...

my situation could be diff from yours.

I was the difficult child last time too :p

Mom also always say me "You only ever want your way"

J said...

to wuching:
I wish I could but I am pretty sure my parents view moving out (before marriage) as a sign of Ultimate Unfilialness and Unabashed Rebellion Of the Shameless Child.
*sigh*

to speed:
Yeah, I suppose it wouldn't...
... but sometimes it's just so infuriating - I love my parents so much but I cannot stop myself from being totally annoyed by them.

to golden aurum:
It is just a big misunderstanding - but then it's always been.

It's a one way street with my parents:
Respect and understanding must only go in one direction and has to come hand in hand with unquestioning obedience.
(Which worked fine when I was below 10 yrs old, but when you grow older you tend to have differing opinions on things)
*sigh*

to anak merdeka:
Being a parent is hard....
Think about it: It's the opportunity to create a life and screw it up if you're not careful.

I suppose if you instill the right rules when they're young, guide them without being a total dictator and then don't continue to treat them like 2 year olds even when they are nearing 30 would be a few good rules of thumbs.
(By my very humble opinion)

to cely:
I am beginning to think that there is something about spaghetti that is CURSED.

team BSG said...

Hey hey hey take it easy...
Go out with some chin chai( unjudgemental ) friends and never talk about this thing,at least for a while...
maybe it shall pass who knows !

J said...

to team bsg:
I'm sure it'll pass - it always does but in the end, nothing ever seems to change.
:(

(Thanks for the concern though)

boo_licious said...

Sorry to hear what happened. Parents - they always drive you up the wall but hey, we have to grit our teeth to tolerate them.

Maybe you can make it up for them with whatever they like? Better to mend bridges rather than build walls.

Che-Cheh said...

Cheer up my friend. Hope things are ok now.

J said...

to boo_licious:
Yeah, love and annoyance seem to be able to co-exist fairly well (unfortunately) when it comes to parents....
:(
... and probably they feel the same way about me.

Will try to fix the bridge soon - maybe after everything calms down.
(Thanks for advice)

to che-cheh:
Thanks....
*hugs*
:)

MeiyeN said...

ouch.... *hugz* don't be too sad yeah.. parents are demanding and always think they are right.. we just got to be good, keep silent and everything will be fine.. but of course, it gonna be "no-fine" to us.. .. well, what to do? anyhow, anyway, they are da one who bring us up... cheers! hope that you are feeling much better now :)

Kay said...

Ohhhhhhhhhh...the drama...! In parents mind, we're still kids. I guess it's how they choose to communicate, not in a pleasant way but yea. Hugs!

sneexe said...

Hi chocoholic dear... I know the perfect cure :) Shirley introduced me to the dessert tapas at Bakerzin.... you tried the chocolate shot?

Or it should be THE Chocolate Shot.

*hugs*

sneexe said...

ps: you mightn't believe it.... but my mom considers me a "problem child" .. meanwhile my contemporaries regard me warily thinking I'm too damn "kwai".

Lol!

J said...

to sneexe:
That just proves it then: No one can ever make their parents 100% happy/ satisfied!
=_=
Well, I suppose your chance of success is much higher if you are the sibling who is always used by parents for comparison... in the classic "Why can't you be more like your sister/brother??"

J said...

to meiyen:
I'm feeling much better now - thanks!
*hugs*
I think I must learn how to just bite my tongue and smile all the time... It'll make things a lot easier, don't you think so?

to kay:
Haha..
Yeah loh : I think I'll always be a 5 year old brat in the eyes of my parents...
*sigh*
Oh well...
:)

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