Thursday, January 12, 2006

Wine Appreciation (3)

Gutten morgen, y'all!
Time for third installment of the stuff on wine that I've been reading.....

*drum roll*

Learn The Difference Between Sweet And Dry!

One of the main distinctions — after red and white — that is bandied about by wine drinkers is whether a particular quaff is sweet or dry. Though imagining how a fluid can be dry is something of a logical stretch, just bear in mind that dry is nothing more than the opposite of sweet, and we all know what sweet tastes like.

A related factor is the weight of a particular type of wine, which refers to the amount of alcohol present in a given sample.

Guides to Sweetness & Weight

Here is a quick and dirty guide to the sweetness of wines (and please note that, for both charts, the listed reds are not necessarily of the same sweetness/weight as the whites listed next to them -- these are relative charts of sweetness/weight, within red or white):

RED - Pinot Noir, Zinfandel, Cabernet, Syrah,
WHITE - Riesling, Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc, Sauvignon Blanc

RED - Merlot
WHITE - Brut

And here's a thumbnail sketch of how heavy or light a wine is:

RED - Merlot, Zinfandel, Chianti, Pinot Noir
WHITE - Brut, Fume Blanc, Pinot Grigio, Riesling

RED - Cabernet
WHITE - Chardonnay

Ordering At A Restaurant

With this simple matrix above in mind, you will be well equipped to tackle any menu you face.

If you want to buy time to consider what precisely you should choose from the wine list, tell the waiter you will decide on a wine once you have chosen your food. Then wait to see what your date orders.

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Hmmmm,... is it just me or are both the guy and the waiter perving at the drunk woman's cleavage?

Next, simply ask your date whether he or she prefers red or white. If your love target claims to have no preference, start with the Rule and suggest a wine color that matches the meal he or she has chosen.

Then simply toss out the ringer: "I think a Riesling might go well with your fish, though a Fume Blanc would also be a good choice if you would prefer something a little drier." After your date closes her mouth and expresses a preference, you're golden.

When the waiter returns, simply announce your collective choice: "We would like a Fume Blanc tonight, can you recommend one?" The waiter will then direct your attention to a selection of your chosen wine on the list and now all you have to worry about is the price — we've cut out all the noise so that you can focus on only that one variable.

And the best bit is that you now sound knowledgeable enough to handle the dreaded retort: "I'm sorry, we don't have a Fume Blanc." You're in the driving seat, the restaurant looks silly now. So simply ask, "Well what along those lines do you have?".

You're in control.

Well,... That's enough stuff about wine for one sitting...
Now, all I have to do is find a way to get through the day...

Man, I hate gloomy mornings (when I have to work).....
They always make me feel like crawling back into bed, snuggling into my pillow and just sleeping until the sun decides to come out from hiding...

Unfortunately, I have bills to pay so.....
*looks down at the dreaded Shackle of Work and Career at her leg*

Signing off,

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