Friday, December 29, 2006

Love and Marriage?

Hrmm....
Apparently arranged marriages are not extinct in the modern landscape of KL after all...
(And this is a real eye opener for me)

It felt really surreal going over to the house of my friend for her wedding kenduri last weekend and having the thought lingering at the back of my head that she is marrying a guy she didn't date, probably doesn't really know and definately didn't choose for herself.

In fact, I had this strange imaginary scenario in my head:
*bride walks up to groom*
Bride: Oh, are you my groom? Hi, my name is Hz.
Groom: Why yes I am... Hi, my name is Fb. Nice to meet you.
*they both shake hands*
Bride: Cool. So, shall we continue with the rest of the wedding now?
*wedding festivities then continue*

Well, the groom looks like a nice guy anyway, so:
A big hearty CONGRATULATIONS to Hz and her new hubby Fb!

*hugs*
Remember, dear: Statistics show that arranged marriages, more often than not, outlast "love" marriages in terms of happiness, stability and sheer staying power.
(Erm.... not that "love" marriages aren't good too... *looks over her shoulder to see whether Hani&Tariq or Tj&Khalil are reading this*)


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14 comments:

Anucia said...

Yeah, it still exists. I dont know about other cultures, but these Indian aunties, goddamnit...they seriously need to get a hobby. Take it from someone arranged (not so severe to the point of marriage, but still!) to consider dating a 'professional' with a personality of a cardboard. Glad I got out of that!Haha..

But yeah, people these days look at marriage as a form of stability...if you're not married by a certain age, there must be something wrong with you...not with the freaks you meet.
:)

B said...

arranged marriage is in canada too. my old work buddy, was arranged marriaged, and he seemed happy. I guess, people are just diffrent. eh? no? I dunno? they lived with the brides parents still, and it seemed like the family was very involved with the marriage. So, if you like that sort of thing, it could be really nice. remember 1 things, from the words of apu in the simpsons "there is allways divorce" :P

anyways

happy holidays J.

MeiyeN said...

arranged marriage?!!!! O_o no way :p anyways, happy new year to you and your family!!!!! have a good weekend yah... :D

cely said...

arranged marriage? ok, please arrange me a prince charming, else i dowan to get marry.. :p

Happy new year J

J said...

to anucia:
Woah, that sounds like a close shave...!
(Luckily I haven't reached "that age" yet for my parents/aunts/ etc to start setting me up but I fear that it's just around the corner..)
:)
It's funny how our (Asian) cultures have come so far but in some ways have still not changed!

to b:
Wow - so arranged marriages are an international epidemic!
(Wait,.... your Canadian friend: Is he Asian?)
(Happy holidays to you too!)
:)

to meiyen:
Well, they say that arranged marriages last longer because parents are more rational when they are picking a hubby/ wife for their child...
(... since when ppl are in love they can be a bit "blind"...)

Still, I wouldn't want it either!
:)

to cely:
Haha.
If there's ever such a wonderful candidate, I will marry him first then intro you to his brother.
Ok ah?
;)

Happy New Year to you too!

team BSG said...

yr post has brought up an interesting point. Its true we think most arranged marriages last longer. the answer is quite simple really, becoz they are more chin chai in relationships and partners. thats why they dont mind even to marry whoever or whatever and dont mind some problems here and there if u know what we mean ?( hahaha )

Happy New Year !

boo_licious said...

Happy New Year! hope it was a fun time.

J said...

to team bsg:
Well, that could be the case.
Only way to find out for sure is to interview someone close to you who's in an arranged marriage or actually get into an arranged marriage to experience it first hand.
Haha.....

to boo_licious:
Hey, thanks!
:)
I hope that your New Year celebration was fun too (and that you will have a great 2007 ahead)!

Anonymous said...

It's entirely possible that the people who do allow their parents to decide for them, are less able to make an independent choice ie; to leave a husband/wife whom they do not love. That rubbish about it "outlasting" love marriages is just that, rubbish.

In terms of happiness? whose quotient? Show us the studies please. Don't parrot rubbish without backing it up with facts.

J said...

to anonymous:
It's also entirely possible that people who leave scathing anonymous comments are cowards, but I definately can't show you any official statistics on that though - sorry!
:)

Haha...
Look, dude - I remember reading a few articles on this topic over the years in various magazines and newspapers.

Can I remember which ones and quote them?
No.
Do I believe it?
Yes - but only to a certain extent.
(You may not believe it, but I am a firm believer that a big reason why divorce rates are up nowadays is because women are more independent and don't have to put up with shit if they don't want to)

Look, my friend gets hooked up into an arranged marriage so I feel the best thing I can do is give her a little moral support and a few kind words....
:)

That's not such a bad thing, is it? Anyway, I hope reading this post didn't spoil your day.
(Have a good life!)

Anonymous said...

Spoils my day as usual.
old boo-boo friend

Anonymous said...

maybe you should look over your shoulder, eh?

J said...

to anonymous:
So cryptic...
Sorry - I guess my comprehension of English sucks because I don't understand what you're trying to say.

Anonymous said...
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