Monday, October 02, 2006

Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

Strange how simple words from loved ones can hurt so much....

My boyfriend is sometimes surprised (maybe even appalled) at how sensitive I am to what he says to me.

Eg. "You have gained weight"

It's a simple enough statement, I suppose.
And for the record, it is a true and fair observation.
(I am still not in the "Fatty" category but I've definately gained a lot of weight over the last 2 years)
(Thank you, sedentary office lifestyle!)
I would readily accept it and maybe laugh it off if told to me by a friend or acquaintance...
... BUT if it was told to me by my bf (or parents), it would cause me to immediately morph into a babbling heap of manic depression, mangled feelings and self loathing.

Strange, no?

So, what's the moral of the story?
To all the boyfriends out there: Be careful of what you say to your girlfriends. It's not like we are trying to pick on you and make a big fuss of nothing but it's just that it's easy for your words to wound us because we love you. OK?
(Erm, or maybe it's just me)

Hmmm,... ok - maybe it's a little heavy for a Monday morning...
Anyway, I shall post up some food stuff tomorrow.
(Be patient with me, ok?)

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  1. what bf? i dun even dare say that to my wife!

  2. I know! It's real tiring to be a gal sometimes, but we just can't help it!

  3. ahhaha... my bf did say "fei poh" to me frequently... as a revenge.. i always laugh at his fat tummy.. i dun care.. whahahah

  4. I think he's just making an observation. For me, I'd rather he tell me than my boss or someone in the office. At least, he is being honest and probably wants me to look my best.

  5. j, i've gained a lot too for da past 2 years ever since i paktor with my bf but strange enuff that everybody is happy that i've put on and recently, he has been calling me 'fei-fei'!!!! arggghh.. i think i prefer him to say 'you've gained weight' instead of calling me 'fei-fei' :(

  6. to wuching:
    Yeah - when men say those words to their women, there will usually be negative repercussions.

    It's very good that you figured that out.

    to missmall:
    I agree - it's a difficult job, but someone's got to do it, right?

    to cely:
    Good for you! - that means you are not as "sensitive" as me.

    to gf:
    You have a point.... but still, it's a bitter pill to swallow (at least for me, anyway)

    to meiyen:
    You? Fei-fei?
    ... but you look so skinny in your photos!

  7. j, skinny?!!! u muz be kidding.. maybe u should really see me in reality and u will know why he call me a 'fei-fei'...

  8. hey there,

    Just stumbled on your blog thru blog hopping.

    In regards to your previous post, vineyards are a big thing in the North Island.

    There are information sites are over NZ which provide free advice. Just pop in to any I-Site and tell them what you are interested in doing, and they'll recommend the best places. They can ever book hostels etc. It's awesome.

    I'm currently residing in NZ, so if you need a hand, just email :

    Hope that helps

    P/S It's been rainy pretty heavily here and the winds have been pretty chilly--would be good if you brought a wind breaker.


  9. to meiyen:
    Hey... in any case, you cannot be worse than me!

    I showed my bf a photo of myself from 3 years ago and he didn't believe it...
    He kept saying: "Don't bluff! You Photoshop-ped it, right?"

    to blingity:
    I'm pretty big on wine (or alcohol in general) so it would be great to check out some wineries...
    (Any particular one that you would recommend though?)

    Will check out the sites online and drop you a mail if I need a few more pointers.

    Thanks so much!
    (Especially for the info on the weather - that's very important!)

  10. At least you have someone that says it to you..


  11. gee... telling someone he or she is fat is always a nono. hugs to you mate!

  12. to SooJ:
    Yes, I'm very lucky to have someone to tell me that I'm getting fat.
    (Anyway, I hope you feel better soon)

    to merv:
    ... especially when it's coming from bf or gf.
    *hugs back*

  13. Hey there,

    The best wines are in the Northland area. I'm not sure if you are planning on visiting it as it as around 1- 1/2 up north of Auckland city itself.

    The beaches here are fantastic and there is the famed 90 mile beach where you drive your car along the beach and the sand dunes which are about another 3-4 hours up north.

    Here's some links if you are interested:

    The Honey Centre is an excellent place to get cheap and good honey (comparatively). They have Manuka honey which is rumored to be one of the best honeys. There are also different flavoured honeys available for sale. It is quite a small establishment. ( 1 1/2 hours from Auckland City)

    Wines wise- Matakana seems to be one of the best places. Ascension Vineyard if I'm not wrong. Again, I must say, that the Information Centre will have all the information--and for free too. Just hop in and ask, every town should have an I-centre (look out for the i sign)

    Also, skiing and snowboarding--
    I think it's about 4-5 hours from Auckland city. ( There are 2 different ski fields on the same mountain. The Whakapapa ski area boasts of a better view)-- get there early and try to book the tickets earlier as well ;)

    Hope this helps

    Cheers ;)

  14. That's why al has been trained in the fine art of conversation:

    S: I've put on weight!
    Al: No lah!
    S: Yes, I have. Look!
    Al: Um...uh...Yay! More of you to love!
    S: Yaay!

    *strolling into sunset* jealous you're going to NZ. I went there for a 5-week holiday and it wasn't enough! The south island is gorgeous.

  15. to blingity:
    Wow - thanks for all the info.
    It really helps.

    I didn't plan to drive Northwards from Auckland but will definately try to fit it in now....

    to s:
    That's great - life is a lot easier/ happier if the significant other has been well educated in the art of "What Not To Say To The Girlfriend".

    So, do you want anything from NZ?


Appreciate your thoughts, opinions and feedback. :)